I decided to be honest with you, my dearest reader

Recently, my entire life seemed to play a joke on me. Sending me to the doorsteps of depression. Been there once, was not looking forward to coming back. Easier said than done. But this one is not just about the struggle.

Two years ago, I left a corporate, secure job (yay), steady paycheck, and all that jazz. Started my own business as a personal stylist, which quickly progressed into brand styling, editorial styling, and creative direction. Since then, I also quit drinking and stopped dating (big business owners don’t have time for such silly things; they’ve got business to build, right?). So naturally, I decided to focus on building my new business. Decided to stick to my routine seriously. My calendar till this day looks insane to most people, and I don’t remember the last time I actually had a vacation.

Since then, I won a fashion stylist award, had my work published in a number of magazines, and had my work on the cover of a magazine. I, as a model in print, worked with the most amazing people in the industry. Done costume development for a film, and was also invited to direct a short film. Just to highlight a few of my achievements. You might think, well, Aya, why are you bitching about then? This all seems so lavish and well-paid.

So it's been 2 years, and it all looks amazing on socials,  that’s true. Even my friends, most of the time, think I’m just busy, booked, and thriving. However, it has not been paid off financially. At all.

The entire month of May took me out mentally, to the point where I was scraping money for food. But oh, how fabulous I looked doing that.

Look at her

I had to do taxes for the first time. Thanks to my amazing financial advisor, I was not doing it all alone.

It was time for my visa renewal, and, yeah, the thought of leaving my dreamy London took a toll on my mental health a lot. Oh, and I did not get £10k of investment. Was grieving that too. All that made me look back at those 2 years that passed so quickly (it does feel like I just moved to London, just quit my corporate job in tech, and just started my business). Reflection is a bitch, so I looked at the time and was honest with myself. Really honest. And since I am all about shared experiences of life and such, I decided to be honest with you, my dear reader, as well.

Year 1 of my business. June 2024.

I had some payments from the previous job (I was never the one to “save up for a rainy day, life is too short”, and instead of calculating my money, I was spending based on vibes. I ran out of those savings quickly. Simply because I was making zero revenue, obviously, yet my bills were coming through every month. By the end of August, I had barely any money left, and I took a job in hospitality (just to pay the bills) for the first time in my life. Naïvely, I, of course, thought that the job wouldn’t be as demanding as corporate, and I would “do my time” to pay the bills and the rest of the time I would be actively investing into building my business. Then, somehow, I was working 60-70 hours a week with constant chats pinging on my phone, and the only time I had left was barely enough for me to even get a proper sleep. Business ideas and expansion went on the second plank. Survival was now my priority.

Year 2 of my business. June 2025.

I decided, mutually with the owner of the place (I still have massive love and respect for her and her business), that it’s time to part ways. I started to get out a little bit more, prioritise my business and my work, and started to get into editorial and brand styling, quickly adding creative direction to my areas of expertise (loving to navigate and telling people what to do is truly a talent I love the most). The majority of those photoshoots were unpaid collabs, but I get experience, I get to play and expand my expertise outside personal styling, and actually see for myself, I do, in fact, have an incredible talent here. I then decide not to take another job to yet again survive, but get to actually build my business. Focus and hustle.

The government helps with their payments for the next 12 months (I have 2 more months left of it). What I did not take into consideration here is how uncomfortable I’d be and how, instead of letting my anger drive me and become my best friend (I have a theory that healthy anger is actually the best thing to listen to if you can recognise and break down what you’re actually angry about), I fully was palalised by fear, my current circumstances, and how I was suffocating with daily procrastination.

Year 3 of my business. June 2026.

Time passed quickly, and I’ve already been the most uncomfortable I've ever been. And don’t get me wrong, I know what struggle is, but I definitely did not imagine myself being 35 years old, living in my dream city, and being distubingly broke.

But enough is ENOUGH!June 2026 started to look a little brighter. My visa was successfully extended for 18 months.So, always being woo-woo, I’ve decided that once my visa is extended, I will take it as a huge, fat sign to make it. And make it BIG. This time, however, I will be unapologetically honest and true to myself and to people who would like to join me to see the journey of fucking around and finding out.

I am here to show you not only the glamorous things that I get to do, but also the ugly truth behind them based on my experience. And my experience only. Whatever that may be and look like. I have tons of goals (126 to be precise), and at this point, there is truly no other way out from my rock bottom, but up.

You might find my journey interesting; in that case, follow for more on YouTube, official series will be dropping there weekly. I just wanted this journey to be sort of a digital diary. So that in June 2027, I can look back and see how far I’ve come. And how can I be effective immediately, become extremely delusional. Because, at the end of the day, the only limit there is – the one you set up by yourself. And I decided there will be no more limits on my journey route.

Make sure you are following the Styling Society on Instagram or TikTok. And my new personal TikTok, since my old page got absolutely cooked.

Your support means everything.

Never forget who the fuck you are, bestie x

Okay, that’s all.

Love you, bye xo

Your neurospicy fashion stylist,

Aya x